Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s: Life Lessons for Young Women (Part 1)

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As I move further and further away from my 20s as a soon-to-be 33-year-old, I’ve been reflecting on my 20s—a decade filled with growth, mistakes, and lessons learned. If you're a woman navigating your 20s, you might be wondering how to build a successful future, set boundaries, or even survive adulthood. These life lessons for women in their 20s will help you feel less alone.

So grab your tea, sis—let’s chat.

 

1️⃣ You Don’t Have to Have Your Whole Life Figured Out in Your 20s

Let’s start with the classic. Most lists like this include it, and for good reason! Like the heading says, you don’t have to have it all together right now.

Looking back, I honestly think I took my 20s too seriously—like, way too seriously. I was so focused on hitting every career goal that I probably missed out on some of the fun. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the college experience and had my share of good times, but I was obsessed with presenting myself as someone who had it all figured out. The reality? No one expects you to have your whole life mapped out in your 20s.

This is the time to try things, to mess up, to date the wrong people, and to take chances. People will judge you a little less for those missteps in your 20s because everyone knows you’re still figuring it out. So, stop being so hard on yourself.

2️⃣ Credit Is a Real Thing—How to Build It in Your 20s

Whew, this one is personal. If you, like me, came from an underprivileged background, you probably entered your 20s knowing nothing about credit. Then, one day, a credit card offer lands in your mailbox promising thousands of dollars, and to the girl who has never seen that kind of money, it feels like a blessing. Spoiler alert: it’s a trap. And one that took me nearly a decade to fix.

Even if you don’t go to college or consider yourself an academic, please take the time to learn about personal finances. Understanding credit scores, how to build them, and how to protect them is essential. If you can, avoid credit cards altogether. But if you do get one, choose wisely—go for a low limit and make sure you can pay it off on time.

All it takes is one hard inquiry or late payment to haunt you for years. If you’re wondering how to build credit in your 20s, start by keeping your credit utilization low, making payments on time, and avoiding unnecessary debt.

3️⃣ Setting Boundaries in Your 20s: Why It’s Essential

If you haven’t started setting boundaries yet, your 20s are the time to start.

It is okay to say no. It is okay to tell people what you will and won’t accept. It is okay to walk away from situations that no longer serve you.

You deserve to feel comfortable and respected in every interaction you have, and if someone consistently violates your boundaries—whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or even family—it’s okay to cut them off. As Kendrick Lamar said, "I'll cut my granny off if she don’t see it how I see it."

Stand up for yourself, now. If you don’t, you’ll walk into your 30s surrounded by people who feel like they can treat you however they want—and you deserve better. Also, remember: No is a complete sentence. No explanation needed, sis.

4️⃣ It’s Okay to Lose Friends in Your 20s

Your 20s will show you who’s really your friend.

Unlike your teens, where friendship is effortless because you see each other every day at school, adult friendships take effort.

Between college, work, and the constant demands of adulthood, you may not have the same availability to hang out—and that’s okay. The friends who are meant to stay will understand, and those who drift away? Let them.

You’re growing, evolving, and figuring out who you are. In doing so, you may realize that some of the friendships you once held onto no longer align with the person you’re becoming. It’s okay to let them go—even if you’ve known them your whole life.

Just make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who bring you peace, not stress.

5️⃣ Work-Life Balance & Why You Should Explore a New Hobby

Your 20s are the perfect time to establish that work-life balance everyone talks about.

It’s hard to maintain a balance if you don’t even know what you enjoy outside of work. Take the time to explore different hobbies—whether that’s playing an instrument, learning a new language, or even something as simple as knitting.

And don’t be afraid to do it alone! If none of your friends are interested, try it anyway. You never know—you might make new friends along the way.

Wrapping It Up (For Now)

And that’s just the beginning, sis! There’s so much I wish I had known in my 20s, but I’ll save the rest for Part 2.

Until then, what’s one thing you wish you had known in your 20s? Drop a comment below—your advice could help another woman navigating her 20s!

Stay shining,
Inayah ✨